updates

my life now revolves around how quickly netflix can get the new season of Weeds to my house.

u-turn is dead. my mind is blown.

please stop

I'm a pretty quiet person. I know that I don't intentionally go out and try to make people feel like shit - so, what provokes some people to do it to me? I don't know - maybe I did do something wrong to them - but if I did I know I've said sorry by now. 

It's happened multiple times now - and still I've never even confronted anyone about it. Because of my nature, I am forced to let things slide. I don't think I even have the ability to confront someone, no matter how bad they fuck me over. And a lot of people realize this I think. Some people even seem to have made plans a couple years ago to fuck me and then continue to do so throughout the course of time we may know each other. Some people know how to use time to their advantage too well. They think, okay well I'm not happy, let's see what Brody is doing - then bam - I wind up fucked... but then, this is where they really show how good they are at this; they give it some time. They give it enough time for me to be pretty much over it - and then make me fall for it all over again. Genius. 

I am probably completely oblivious to most of the things I do. Which means I very well could've hurt someone else and made them feel like shit - but they HAVE to understand that I did not mean to and am sorry for whatever it was. So, please stop. And I will try my best as well to not let it happen again. I think we would all be happier.

French toast? What shape?

May has not treated me well. I thought May would be the best month ever; I finished my first year of college - then got kicked out. I went home for a week - I have changed too much to enjoy it. I tried to get back into college - didn't work. 

Honestly, I think the coolest thing that's happened to me all month was getting in a bike wreck. I'm stoked on the scars I'm gonna have.

The name of the game

is turn it to shit.

 

Scabs would be nice

I wrecked my bike today. It hurts pretty bad. At the time it didn't hurt as bad physically, I was just really embarrassed. But then once I got home I realized how bad it actually was. I am glad it happened though. Pretty proud of it you know. I think if you want to be someone with experience in something - that's a good thing to have under your belt. My wounds did this thing where, instead of scabbing up - they have "gooed up." I know, I know... gross. But still it's pretty cool. And best of all - no damages at all to my bike!

Today was a good relax day. I'm glad to be back in Muncie.

Guess what I did today!

Give up?
I had a great day! By far the best day I've had in a week. The curse is broken! There were some things that I wish would've happened that could have made it better - but oh well, I'm over it. Still a grand day!
I also decided to go home tomorrow rather than Wednesday. I was originally gonna stay tomorrow to continue hanging out with people, but it seems everyone has had enough of me (completely understandable). I have barked up too many wrong trees I suppose. I would only ride my bike all over the damn place (which is awesome - but quite literally all I have done since being here).

Overall, my time back at my mom's house has taught me a lot. Like - it sucks sleeping on a couch for a week being this goofishly tall - I enjoy hanging out with my brother, dad and stepmom more than most of my old friends here - and if you give someone an inch they will take a mile.

The only bad thing about today was that I tested a hypothesis (that I hoped was false) and it turned out to be true. Not bad really, just pretty disappointed. I am too nice to some people - the ones who don't deserve it. And then I catch myself being an ass to people like mom who give me everything in the world. I piss myself off.

Anyway, if I saw you this week - it wasn't for as long as I had hoped, I promise - but thanks for letting me in at all. If you're in Muncie soon, call me. Even if it's not soon... there is a 98% chance I will be there - and a 100% fact that I will want to see you.

HELP WANTED

Today I rode my bike literally all day. I left my house at 1:30 pm and did not return until 9:30 pm. It was awesome.
But of course something terrible had to happen to ruin the entire day... I was on my way back home from my dad's and riding down Miller Avenue in Marion when I saw a dog get hit by a car. I almost fell off my bike. It hurt me so bad (dramatic and true). I seriously, for the first time in my life, believe in curses. Ever since I came to visit home nearly a week ago, it seems like I've been having just alright days, usually with at least one really shitty thing happening. I'm tired of it.
I thought about just staying inside the next few days I'm here, which are also the last few days I'm here. But I know I can't do that. That would be shitty in and of itself.
I do want to see people, but only certain people now - and they aren't having it. So... well, I dunno.
Although it's completely irrational - I want to become vegetarian now. I've always kinda picked on vegetarians, and not because I'm actually against vegetarianism, but because most the vegetarians I've talked to are into it because they are slaves to trends. But after seeing that dog die, I feel like it's something I need to do. The worst thing of all is: I know there is no chance in Hell I could do it. So my plan is to find another non-veg and make a bet with them; semi high stakes. Just so I can be sure to do it.
R.I.P. unknown dog on Miller Ave.